Thursday, October 30, 2008

It's All In God's Hands

I was reading my In Touch magazine devotional this morning, and yesterday too. Isn't it funny how devotionals fit what is going on in your life? Well, anyway, it said that most people want the best most qualified person for a job, whereas, God usually chooses the weaker person because they are usually more dependent on him. And through their weakness, HE is strong.

I can't help but believe that I am not the person most people would choose to take care of a child. I don't think I am a bad mother, but I sure haven't received any mother of the year awards either. Some will say I have too much patience, I don't think I have enough sometimes. But who knows what God could be doing in this situation.

I have left it completely up to God. If HE wants us to take care of this girl, HE will fix it to where the judge says she can stay here. If HE doesn't want us to take of her, the judge will say he wants her somewhere else.

The social worker came by yesterday and checked things out, making sure we had the room for her to be here. She also talked with the girl to see what she wanted. My wish is that the man she calls daddy (not her biological father) could take her and care for her.

I will do whatever God wants me to do. I really don't think I need the added stress with going to nursing school, but I know that God does not give us more than we can handle, and HE will provide and make me strong enough to endure. It is all up to HIM now. Just pray for God's will to be done on Friday morning regarding this situation. Thank you!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Ok God - What Do I Do?

If it wasn't enough that I am finding little time to study, I feel like I am coming down with something, and I have a party Friday I am not ready for ... well now I have emergency custody of a friend's child that I may or may not get to keep, or may have to keep for no telling how long. If I didn't take her she was going to end up in foster care, and I really didn't want to see that happen.

I just know that I am stressed beyond belief right now, and have no clue what to do. I am just going to get on my knees and pray for guidance, direction, and answers. I know if this is meant to be, God will provide, I just don't know how to deal with the added stress ... just lean on HIM I guess. Please continue to pray for me.

Thank you!

Feeling Rushed/Bad

I need to be studying, my daughter and best friend's daughter are having a joint early Halloween/birthday party that I am not even close to being ready for, and I feel ill, I think I am coming down with something.

I need prayer. I need to be able to study, study, study, and I don't need to get sick right now. My grades ARE NOT where they need to be and I really need help to get all of this content into my brain so I can do well on the next 4 tests.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

I Need A Boost

I am seriously overloaded. I feel like all I do is read and sit through lectures. I think my brain is going to explode! You might even hear about it on the news ... "Breaking news, a nursing student's brain exploded from information overload today, full story at 10."

Then I hear about all of this election BULL, and get all the nasty emails and people telling me if I am a Christian I must vote for McCain, which just makes me want to vomit. I cannot vote for another 8 years of this mess, REALLY! I want Bill back!!!!

I agree with my BIL (brother-in-law). I think Obama will do more to help the abortion issue than McCain will. At least he voted for programs that gave teens education and contraceptives to reduce teen pregnancies. I mean really, lets think about this for a second--You can't fix the abortion issue if you don't offer alternatives. Abstinence is a great message, but it is not a message everyone will buy into.

The truth is that the world has a stronger hold on our teenagers than God does, and so we have to offer alternatives that fit into their way of thinking, we can't push our beliefs onto other people all the time. It isn't realistic. It's great that we try, but it doesn't resolve the situation!

I am exhausted and I have another sinus infection. I am thinking of buying the Netty Pot, I have been hearing about it for a few years now, and I think it will do me some good. The medicine I need to take for my allergies is about $200 a month ... not including allergy shots. Then they make me tired or agitated, so it isn't worth it to me. I'd rather be stuffy and have a few headaches then be tired all of the time and ticked off.

I really need to sit down and have a long converstation with God today. I have got to forgive some things and work on some things.

Have a great, glorious, and blessed day!

Friday, October 10, 2008

It's Not Happening

My prayer was not answered, I am very sad and depressed, and wish that I had never gotten myself involved because now I am hurt too.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Thank You Lord - I Praise Your Name

I cannot say what is going on ... only because I don't know if the parties involved want me spreading it around just yet ... but I have prayed, and prayed, and prayed, and prayed, and prayed, and prayed ... and prayed some more for God to intervene in a situation that is very close to my heart, and guess what? HE IS WORKING!!! ... actually HE has been working the whole time, it is just the people involved have been in HIS way, not listening, and not doing what they should have been doing. BUT, now they are trying to let GOD fix things, and so I am still praying, and will continue to pray until I know God has fixed it completely. Please pray with me, pray that God will continue to heal this situation, guide this situation, and work through and in the people involved!

THANK YOU GOD FOR ANSWERING THIS PRAYER! I KNOW THIS IS YOUR WILL! I KNOW THAT YOU ARE MIGHTY, WONDERFUL, GRACIOUS, PATIENT, AND FORGIVING! THANK YOU LORD!!!! THANK YOU!!!

Monday, October 6, 2008

I AM ...

#1. A big pain in the butt, and I am totally aware of it, and totally ok with it. I have to be stubborn in many ways in order to do God's work. I have to be honest because I am a bad liar, and lying stinks anyway! I know, I was lied to all of my life! I have to try and help people even if they really don't want my help, because that is me, that is who I am. I like to help people!

#2. Extremely tired, worn out, and emotionally drained from all the studying I do that barely makes the grade. I keep telling myself "ONE MORE YEAR!"

#3. Excited because this semester is half over already!

#4. Upset because I only get one day off for fall break, the kids get the whole week!

#5. A servant! I am totally ok with always being a helper in VBS, a helper in KidsFest, or just a member of the church. I don't have to be in a leadership role because a true servant wants to serve, not be the leader to get attention or to brag. It's about God, it is NOT about me!

Thursday, October 2, 2008

The Irony - Studying = Student & Dying Put Together

Seems like studying is all that I do. Today is no different, I have a test tomorrow and so I will be out of pocket most of the day to STUDY-STUDY-STUDY, then I will DIE from serious brain overload!

I hope YOU have a stress free day!