It came to my attention several months ago that I suffer from depression. It's not so bad that I want to hurt myself, it's just causing me to want to stay home, sleep, and stay away from the people I love. I don't know what triggered it, but the latest news of my mother's condition surely has not helped it.
I finally went to the doctor today and asked for some help. Although I know that a pill is not going to make me happy, or make the possibility of losing my mother any easier ... It surely will help the hopelessness I feel, the lack of interest in things I once enjoyed, and maybe, just maybe, it will keep the tears from falling quite so often.
I think it started when I graduated from nursing school. In nursing school you bond with people who know exactly what you are going through. You spend lots of time together, and become a family. I haven't seen hardly any of my friends from nursing school since graduation. So I don't have that support system anymore.
It feels kind of like losing your best friend ... which in a way, that happened to. My best friend moved out in February and I have seen her twice since. She works a very tiring schedule, and rarely has time for her own family. I miss her.
My husband does not understand how I feel, and that isn't his fault, it is hard to sympathise with someone when you have never been through that something before. So it is hard for him to be supportive. I know lately that my depression has caused some issues with us, and recognizing that is half the battle I suppose.
The doctor put me on Pristiq. I am hoping it helps. I am praying it helps. Surely I can't feel any worse than I do right now. Prayers would be greatly appreciated.
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