I'm Thinking ...

#1.
I have drowned in self-pity long enough, it is time for me to raise my head and think about the good in my life, and not dwell on what really stinks. Satan was showing me EVERYTHING that is wrong in my life, trying to convince me that I don't have anyone to turn to, and I started thinking "Why am I even here?" - He may make me feel bad for a little while, but he can't steal my joy because I have hope in Jesus Christ, and I can turn to HIM in times of pain and need.

#2.
If I had known raising teenage boys was going to be so hard, I would have petitioned for a puppy instead. I love my kids, I really do, but sometimes I just want to put them to sleep until their 20. You know what I'm talking about. I mean really, I know what my parents would have done to me if I said and did the things my kids say and do.

#3.
Our biggest problem (Stanley's and mine), is that we can't agree on discipline, and we go about it all wrong. I sometimes wonder why God even gave us kids because we really STINK at being parents. There are so many people in this world who can't have kids, who would raise godly children, but God gave us kids ... I'm beginning to question God's sense of humor.

#4.
My last post made my church look bad. My church is awesome! I love my church, I just think it is so big that the only people the pastor has time for is the people who work in or help run the church. There are a few people that have made it clear that they wouldn't spit on me if I was on fire, but hey, that's life. I don't worry about it, and leave it for God to deal with. - I do have several people I could turn to in the church, I'm just not so sure if that is a good idea. I think if anything, we need general counseling to help us raise these kids in a godly fashion.

#5.
When you don't raise your kids in church from birth, you really MESS UP! See I was basically taken out of the church I'm in now - I'm thinking at age 10 or 11, (because my mom had issues). I visited a few churches with friends as I grew older, but nothing regular. I just got so far away from God that it took over 20 years for me to come back. It's pretty sad when you've been a member of a church for 25 years, but only attended for three or four years (at the most). I can't make up for time lost, but I can do my best to raise my kids right from now on. Something that is proving to be very challenging.

#6.
I am no longer volunteering for anything while I am active in school, except for Revive. The only reason I will for Revive is because God called me to do that and it is something I am very passionate about and believe in. God has really pulled me into that ministry, I do a lot more than coordinate two walks, but God is in control; HE is doing it all. I am just allowing HIM to do it through me, though I have argued with HIM about it a few times :)

#7.
I was just way to busy with stuff at church this semester and ended up with a 2.692 GPA for the semester. Luckily God was on my side and my cumulative GPA is still "OK" with a 3.065. Thank you God! I have to keep my GPA up for the nursing program. I believe God called me to be a nurse, so I need to make sure I don't spread myself out too thin and ruin my chance.

Well that is all I have been thinking about lately. I will one day look back on this and think "Wow, God got me through it all" ... I can't wait. I am praising HIM already because I know HE will see me through all of my issues.