After talking with my sister yesterday, I realized that my walk with Christ has changed. A few things have happened over the years that have left my feelings hurt, and even though I have forgiven, I have not forgotten, and it has changed me.
I haven't been going to church like I did, mainly because of my work schedule, but there are times I don't go just because I don't want to.
I don't serve like I used to.
I don't pray like I used to.
I don't read my Bible like I used to.
I don't feel that closeness like I used to ... That "on-fire" feeling like I used to.
When I served before, I served because I love God so much I wanted to do anything and everything I could for him, not because I wanted to say "Hey, Look at me, look how important I am."
I was on fire for God, I wanted to be in church every minute I could be. I wanted God to correct me when I had done wrong. I wanted to feel conviction. I wanted to do everything I could possibly do to serve, but words and actions by other people made me feel unworthy.
I am to blame, don't get me wrong, I am not blaming it on what has happened to me, I am the one allowing it to do this. But I want to say this ...
Don't ever act like someone is not Christian enough to serve in Church, or good enough to share the gospel and bring someone to Christ. Don't ever hurt someone's feelings on purpose and claim it was out of "love"... because your actions could place stumbling blocks in front of your brother or sister in Christ.
If we do those things, and then act like we are better because we have been a Christian longer, been in church longer, taught longer, served longer, or have more money, or study the Bible more, or whatever the case may be ... we are no better. We are not to judge to be mean, or to decide who is "good enough" to serve. God calls us ALL to serve, and to share the gospel. Jesus died for my sins just like he died for your sins. So don't ever think you are better than anyone else, because you are not. WE ALL FALL SHORT OF THE GLORY OF GOD!
Now that I have gotten that off my chest, I am going to run some errands, and then go to bed (for work tonight) and have a long talk with God and see if I can't get myself back on track with Him. Please pray for me.
Also pray for a health issue ... it may be nothing, but I am worried and stressing and I need to just give it to God.
