Thoughts Of The Day 1/27/09

In a world where you can be anything, be yourself.

I'd rather be hated for who I am, than be loved for who I'm not.

Those who are poor, smile at what they have, yet those who have good fortune, frown at what they do not have.

When you judge someone else, It doesn't define who they are, It defines who you are.

Life is too short to be distracted by the opinions of others.

Stand up for what you believe in, even if you are standing alone.

Thought Of The Day 1-20-09

Dependence upon God makes heroes of ordinary people like you and me. - Bruce Wilkinson

Thought Of The Day 1-19-09

If you begin to live life looking for the God that is all around you, every moment becomes a prayer. - Frank Bianco

Learning About Myself

1. I have come to realize that I may be too outspoken. I realized I had this problem when I was a teenager, but then somehow I grew out of it, and then now that I am back in Church, I am back to be being outspoken again. I am the type of person that I don't care who you are, if I think you have done me wrong or my family wrong, I will be the first one to tell you about it. I am usually nice about it unless you ignore me or defend your behavior, and then I might not be so nice. Some people cannot handle this about me, and so I don't make friends very easily. Once people see that I am not this way just to be mean, then they get to know me and like me, but it takes some time for people to get that close.
2. I have come to realize that I am not the type of person who searches for or longs for a leadership role. Not to say that I wouldn't want a leadership role if the position were right, I just don't "need" it in order to feel like somebody important. I may not be important to anyone but my family, but that is OK with me. I see a lot of people look for leadership roles just to say "Look at me!", "Look what I am doing." I don't want to ever be that way because then it isn't for God's glory, it's for mine, and that would be wrong.
3. I get annoyed with advice that comes from people who have not been in my situation, and because of that, I try not to give advice to people if I have not been there myself. We all think we know all the answers and it is real easy to tell someone else what to do, but not as easy when you are standing in the situation.
4. I am a lot tougher than I thought I was, and I know I owe it ALL to God. He has given me more strength than I thought was possible over the past several years. God is truly amazing!
5. I am so happy to be happily married. I go to school with a bunch of young girls and overhear them talk about dating ... I could not do that again. I LOVE stability. I love knowing that I have someone who loves me and only me. I love it that there are many predictable things in my life (I don't like surprises), and I love it that at the end of the day I have a soft place to fall and I will always be caught by my husband's loving arms.
6. I do not like confrontation, and express myself better in writing. I don't mind talking face to face, but I am more apt to becoming emotional or upset and do not like others to see me cry.
7. Sci-Fi movies are NOT for me ... give me a good romantic comedy and I am good to go!

I have learned a lot about myself over the past few years in school. I know I will continue to learn more as I grow older and continue to change. I am looking forward to the adventure.

Drugs or Jesus

I have been having a hard time dealing with some things lately. Lord knows I have prayed and prayed but I still don't know what to do or what to say. I will try not to go into too much detail, but one problem I have is that I feel, and my kids feel, like they are treated differently than other kids in a couple of different environments. I don't know why this is, and no reason can justify it in my mind, but it happens regardless.

I am the type of person that believes that all people should be treated equally and fairly. I realize there are people that have their favorite kids, I do too, but that does not mean that you nag, be mean to, or be unfair to other kids. It isn't right and is sin no matter how you look at it.

I also have a problem (in general) with the amount of people who are addicted to or take prescription drugs for no reason. These people are all around us; on the roads, in the shopping malls, and for some reason they think because they are legal drugs, that it is OK. It is NOT OK. An addiction is an addiction and not to say these people are bad people, but I don't want that mess around my kids.

Prescription drugs have become the new "street drug", and these people will try to sell these drugs to your kids, or they will even give them away to help get them started or addicted. I have seen good people ruin their lives from abusing prescription drugs. It is mainly pain pills or anti-depressants that are being abused. It is very scary to me because I know how easily doctors just hand them out like candy.

No good doctor should keep writing prescriptions for pain killers without testing the drug level in the person, and without trying alternative methods of pain relief. The doctor that writes those prescriptions every month without checking things out and making sure the client is in real pain and not just addicted, should lose their license in my opinion. They are part of the problem when they need to be part of the solution. Prayer is needed for sure!

That was my soap box for the day ... It could be continued :)

Feeling Great

Well it has been one month and a day since my surgery and I feel wonderful. That is a blessing for sure! It took a week and half before I did not regret the surgery due to the massive pain I was having, but all is good now ... Thank you GOD!

We have started painting the house. We have lived here for two years and we have only done minor work on it due to me being in school. I felt so good this past weekend that I had to start working on it, and so far it is looking great! I didn't even answer the phone in fear that I would stop painting.

We spent Saturday night at a friend's house playing Rockband (one of the coolest games on the planet if you like music). We ordered out for pizza and sat around talking and catching up, and then I took turns singing and playing the guitar while Stanley did not feel very musically inclined, so he just watched and listened to us. We had a great time! I think we are going to buy Rockband and Guitar Hero World Tour Band so we can jam at home :)

School started back yesterday and so far I think 203 is going to be awesome! Our professors are a hoot let me tell you. I also liked my Medical Micro professor and think this semester is going to be one of the best so far.

Now we just got to plan out devotionals for our family and get closer to God and all things will be great in the Stevenson household!

Seven Weird Or Random Facts

My sister tagged me, so I guess I am it :) Here are seven weird or random things about me.

1. One of my nicknames is Miss Chin. My daddy called me that from the time I can remember, even as an adult he called me that or just "Chin". I really miss my daddy :(

2. My husband and I started dating in July of 1991, we got married in April of 1992, got a divorce in April of 1997, continued to live together, and got remarried in August of 2003. God did an amazing work on the both of us!

3. I was out of church for over 20 years, and I am so thankful that God got a hold of me again and pulled me out of the life I was living. To find true happiness, all one needs is God.

4. I can touch my nose with my tongue.

5. I have to drink coffee the first thing every morning or I get a bad headache that will not go away.

6. I had my first three kids by c-section and then the fourth was born natural, something that is very rare and most doctors will not allow anymore due to the serious risk of death for both mother and baby.

7. When I was 9 years old I got strep-throat and the infection went to the tubes of my kidneys causing post-strepococcal glumerulonephritis, which caused my kidneys to shut-down and I ended up in a coma for 5 days out of my two week stay at Lourdes Hospital in Paducah, Ky. If it had not been for the prayers and genius of my doctor, Dr. Shumaker, I probably would have died or ended up on dialysis or had to have a kidney transplant.

If you are reading this, you are tagged ... so get busy!

God's Gift

Little baby on the hay,

soon there'll be another day

when nails shall pierce YOUR hands

and feet as YOU provide our sin's defeat.

Risen Jesus on the throne,

we lift our praise to YOU alone-

for YOU'RE gift that we receive

the moment that our hearts believe.

-Roy Lessin

As I grow older and get closer to God. I think about how Jesus must be so disappointed with us for turning his birth and ressurection into a big LIE. We tell our kids that Santa Claus comes and brings them gifts at Christmas. We tell them the Easter Bunny comes and brings them baskets full of eggs on HIS ressurection. How can that make HIM happy?

If we had started from day one making Christmas about HIS birth, we wouldn't have to be fighting to say MERRY CHRISTMAS now. If we had told our kids that Christmas was about a GIFT that God gave to US that would ultimately give US eternal life in HEAVEN with HIM, imagine how things would be today? Makes you think and wonder doesn't it?

Christians are usually good about standing up for their beliefs, but this is one thing that I think we really messed up with. How can any lie that takes away from our savior's birth and ressurection be pleasing to God? How can ANY lie be pleasing to God for that matter?

We always hear about how as Christians we are to be different. We should not watch ungodly things, we should not listen to ungodly music, we should always be careful to tame our tongues. We should be careful of the company we keep. BUT THEN we support this HUGE LIE every single year! Even if we don't have young kids, we ask "What is Santa bringing you?" ... We support the commercialism of HIS birth buy going into DEBT to SPOIL our children. We show just how ungodly we are by getting into fights with other people over that "special" toy for our kids.

Non Christians celebrate Christmas the exact same way we do.

Yeah I am very sure that the reason we are fighting to put Christ back in Christmas, is because Christmas IS NOT about Christ anymore, and it hasn't been for a very long time. We say it is, and we may watch movies like the Nativity Story, and read from the Bible ... but it is all about buying our kids those things they are just dying to have. It's all about impressing the people we don't even like. It's all about how much money we can spend ... and I don't care what anybody says, our God, our Jesus, would not be happy about any of that!!!

Put CHRIST back in YOUR Christmas. Celebrate YOUR savior's birth the way it should be celebrated. Don't continue to commercialize Christmas, don't continue to make a mockery out of HIS birth. I dare YOU to be different.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!

It Is Depressing

It is very sad that the economy is as bad as it is. People all across this country are struggling to make ends meet and buy Christmas for their families. It is sad that people are losing their jobs during this crisis. That is why it is so important that people not live beyond their means.

If you have credit cards, cut them up! If you have charge accounts, stop! You don't need a fancy car and the nicest furniture and clothing. You only need what you can afford. Stop trying to impress the people you don't even like with your treasures here on earth.

Now is not the time to be buying things you don't need, or charging thousands of dollars on credit cards to buy Christmas for your family. Your family should be able to understand that you can't afford to spend money you don't have.

It just blows my mind to overhear people saying they can't pay their bills, but then they charge tons of money on credit cards. People are losing their jobs, or at risk for losing their jobs. This is not the time to go into debt, think about your families. I am sure they would much rather have a house to live in than an iPod or a laptop.

More Of This & That

Well school is out for Christmas break. I made it to the third semester of nursing ... YAY me! I had my hysterectomy and right side salpingo-oophorectomy (tube and ovary) removed on the 12th. I have had severe pain and swelling, which (hopefully and prayerfully) is going away.

My belly-button is really swollen and I still cannot stand for anything to touch my belly. This has been the worst surgery so far. I had sinus surgery and went to school the next day and had zero pain. I have had three C-Sections where I was up walking like nothing had happened the very next day. But this surgery, this one was very different. I woke up in recovery in horrible pain, and after enough medicine to sedate a horse, I still complained and hit the side rails in agony. Yes, it was that bad.

After crying for a few days in severe pain, the doctor basically put me in a drug induced coma (very strong pain pills), that allowed me to rest. Today I have not taken any of those pills, and only took one of my darvocets for some moderate pain this afternoon. I hate taking pills and will try to prevent from taking them if at all possible. I feel a lot better today ... Thank you GOD!

Then to top all of that off, I overhear something being said to my daughter that is not true. My daughter has been telling me things for a while that someone is saying to her. It struck a nerve when I overheard it myself, and so I made sure that the person saying it knew that it was not true. It really makes me want to get out of the situation we are in because we are doing this out of the kindness of our hearts, and we have gotten nothing but grief for it from day one.

I am trying to keep my anger from controlling how I handle this situation, but it seems like every time I turn around they are doing something to cause me more grief. I may have to call S.S. and tell them I am done. I am trying real hard not to do that, but they are leaving me no other choice if this keeps up.

It's Almost Over ...

I've been studying NCLEX review questions since Friday to prepare for my final exam in nursing on Wednesday. So far I have answered over 500 study questions. The Hesi is only 110 questions, so hopefully by the time I am finished, I will have covered the majority of questions that could be on this exam. I will continue to study until late this afternoon, and then I am just going to relax and get myself mentally prepared.

Today I have to stop by the church and pick up a letter that says I work in TeamKid on Wednesday night, so that next semester the school doesn't put me in a Thursday clinical. If I have Thursday clinical, I can't attend church on Wednesday's because of the amount of paperwork patient care requires. Then I have to take it to the school, and then go to WBH for my pre-op stuff.

Wednesday is my HESI final and then church. I will be glad to be finished for the semester ... my brain cannot handle any new information right now. Its processor is fairly slow these days and I am worried the system will crash :)

Thursday is my surgery! I am not looking forward to the surgery itself, but I am looking forward to a pain-free life afterward (after I heal of course). I have to stay overnight :( ... but I look at it as a vacation from the 5 kids in the house. I love them all with all of my heart, but I will not miss the noise! Have you tried to study in a house with three teenage boys and two pre-teen girls? It isn't easy let me tell you!

I am looking forward to being a couch potato for the rest of the week, I haven't watched anything but ER in a long time.

Well please pray that I do well on my nursing final, and please pray that I have a quick recovery from my surgery! Thank you so much, and have a great, glorious, and blessed day & rest of the week!

SOS - Someone Help Me

I have a bit of a dilemma, and so I am seeking all of your advice. Yesterday I had my interview for nurse extern. They asked me where I wanted to be, I told them ICU. They were thrilled, they needed a student with a year to go to be in ICU because of the heavy training it requires. The catch is that I would need to get some things accomplished this month before school starts in January. Dec. 16th I would have to have an all day phlebotomy class where I would have to get 50 visible sticks, I would have to have several orientations and EKG training, and I would need to work every other Wed. on a midnight shift to get my packet (a check off on all my skills) finished before January. My surgery is on Dec. 11th., and we have tried every way we can to see if I could get all of this done, and I would not be able to because Dr. Hodges will not release me to do all of these things before January.

So I am just sick. I really wanted to be in ICU, and after being in there a year, I would have the training to stay there, and would get so much experience just as a student. She said if I applied for it in May, I might could get in ICU, but she couldn't guarantee that I would stay in ICU after graduation. But she could guarantee that I would get a med-surg floor.

If I weigh the pros and cons, I should go ahead with my surgery, reapply in May, and just pray that I get ICU after graduation. I told mom I was going to have to pray about it, but that I needed my answer by today so that I can call them back and let them know I want the position. God does not work that fast, usually. She said if I go by the Bible, I already have my answer because we are to take care of the temple (our bodies). I could wait for a year for my surgery, but I would have to suffer in order to do that. I really-really want this position, but I also really-really want this surgery so that I can have a normal life again.

What do you think? I haven't had time to do much thinking, I have two tests today. Any words of wisdom to help me not regret either decision?

Let The Stress Begin

This is what my next couple of weeks look like ...

• Dec 1st. 9:05-12:35 Lecture - 1:00 PM Physical Therapy Lab - 3:00 PM Survey @ WBH - 3:30 PM Interview @ WBH
• Dec. 2nd 8:00-12:00 Lecture - 12:30 Proctored Medical Terminology Test
• Dec. 3rd 9:05-12:35 Lecture - 6:30 PM Church
• Dec. 4th Off for study
• Dec. 5th 8:30 AM Court - 10:15 AM Last Chapter Exam (Nursing)
• Dec. 9th 12:15 Lab Work for Surgery & Final Exam (Medical Terminology) May have this changed to Dec. 2nd after other exam.
• Dec. 10th 10:30 AM Final Exam (Nursing)
• Dec. 11th 9:30 AM Surgery
• Dec. 12th Get out of Hospital sometime that morning. - 6:00 PM Husband's Company Christmas Dinner (If I am up to it ... doubtful being 1st day post-op)

Now tell me that these next two weeks are not going to make me crazy, cause I think they will, but I really want to be wrong!!!

Thank God I have 5 days of holiday break (the rest of this week and weekend), to study and relax to prepare me for what is to come. Please pray for me that I accomplish all of my goals with God's help and direction.

Thank you, and have a great Thanksgiving holiday!

It Breaks My Heart

I found myself a bit upset today. Upset because some people I adore are not really being treated very well by others, and it has caused them to not feel welcome at our church. I know there will be some that will say it shouldn't matter what others think, it's about God.

Well God would not treat these people this way. God would be supporting them, showing them love. Not whispering behind their backs or judging them for the mistakes they have made. We ALL make mistakes. No ONE person is better than another, no matter what you may think.

It upsets me, it really does. Especially when it comes from people that should know better. Especially from Christians. I know what I have done in my past, and though I have never murdered anyone, I have broken the Ten Commandments (just like everyone else has), and that is just as bad in God's eyes.

Anyway, we all need support and need to be lifted up when we mess up, not kicked while we are down. It upsets me more just thinking about it. Have a great week.

The Fight Against Abortion

A worried woman went to her gynecologist and said:

'Doctor, I have a serious problem and desperately need your help! My baby is not even 1 yr. old and I'm pregnant again. I don't want kids so close together.'

So the doctor said: 'Ok and what do you want me to do?'

She said: 'I want you to end my pregnancy, and I'm counting on your help with this.'

The doctor thought for a little, and after some silence he said to the lady: 'I think I have a better solution for your problem. It's less dangerous for you too.'

She smiled, thinking that the doctor was going to accept her request.

Then he continued: 'You see, in order for you not to have to take care of 2 babies at the same time, let's kill the one in your arms. This way, you could rest some before the other one is born. If we're going to kill one of them, it doesn't matter which one it is. There would be no risk for your body if you chose the one in your arms.

The lady was horrified and said: 'No doctor! How terrible! It's a crime to kill a child!

'I agree', the doctor replied. 'But you seemed to be ok with it, so I thought maybe that was the best solution. The doctor smiled, realizing that he had made his point.

He convinced the mom that there is no difference in killing a child that's already been born and one that's still in the womb. The crime is the same!

Amen!

UPDATE

Sorry I forget to update for those of you who read my blog. I waited from 9:30 until 11:30 to be called (missed my whole class), and then all that happened was they told me since I could not be at court on the 21st, they would have to reschedule for December 5th. Then they set up visitation with the mother and the man she calls daddy. They get to see her unsupervised (the man supervises with the mother) on Monday from 4-7 and on Saturday 10-3. This keeps them out of my hair everyday, so I am thankful for that. My husband is going off of her bond on Monday, and the man is going on it instead. That too will relieve some added stress.

On December 5th, I think it is the judication hearing where witnesses are present and that is when they may turn it from a neglect situation to a dependency situation. It's basically to prove why there was a need to take the girl from the mother. I don't know if they will let the man have her then or not, social services didn't seem very nice to him yeterday, and they are the ones who tell the judge what their recommendations are, so I don't know ... it is all in God's hands. I am trying very hard to get my will to match His, but it is very difficult sometimes.

I don't know if we will have her for Christmas or not, so I have done a few things just in case. Please continue to pray for us! We want to be in perfect alignment with God's will. Thanks so much!

Court Tomorrow

Tomorrow is court over this girl. The man she calls daddy is supposed to try and get custody of her tomorrow. I don't know if they will let him have her or not because he is living with her mother. That would defeat the purpose of taking her away if she is going to be with her mother anyway.

On one hand I hope he does get her, but I want that for selfish reasons: I am tired of dealing with the mother. On the other hand, I don't want her to go with him because I worry about the what-if's if left with her mother.

The girl has been good for the most part. She has lied to me about a couple of things, but her behavior other than that has been wonderful. She is a sweet girl, she just has been around so much that I am afraid she will end up making some really bad choices in her life. All I can do is pray that God protects her and keeps her safe from what the world has to offer her.

I don't know what God's plan is tomorrow, but whatever it is I am willing to do what HE wants. Even if that means I have to deal with things I don't want to deal with. I'm praying for God's will, not mine. All I can do is just trust God. Please keep us in your prayers. Thank you.

Oh, and I cannot go to the next court date on the 21st. I found out for sure that I will not be allowed to make up the test if I miss it, and that will cause me to fail nursing. Luckily, I have a letter from my instructor asking the judge to change the time.

Dreading The Holidays

The more I look at the extra bills I have for the next few months (county & city property tax, & house insurance ... over $1000 thankyouverymuch), and the more I think about the unknown (whether or not we will have my friend's kid over the holidays, or permanent???), the more I am dreading Christmas.

The economy just stinks, everything costs an arm and a leg, and maybe even a kidney... and so it looks like Christmas will be slim this year. At least we love each other and have a place to live. Some people don't even have a home or family to be with, so I am thankful that I have that.

Once I become a nurse and start contributing financially to this family, I will feel a lot better about the holidays. School costs us about $100 a week, and have you tried to feed three teenage boys? My goodness! Not to mention the two picky girls in the house. Feeding 5 kids on one income is definitely challenging. God does provide, and I thank HIM for that everyday!

At least my sister is cooking Christmas dinner, with my surgery, I don't need to be trying to do that this year. I may try to cook Thanksgiving though if I have time with all the testing I have for this month! Thank God there is just one more month of classes for this year!

INSTALLING A HUSBAND

This is funny!

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as:

- NBA 5.0
- NFL 3.0
- Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,
0A Desperate.


DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind,Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.

Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources< /SPAN>.)

0A, In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Tech Support

This, That, & The Other

Today was one crazy day. It started off with driving to school this morning. I was running late but my gas light was on. I thought I could make it so I drove on. I started running out of gas on I 24 near exit 11. The car died I am guessing about 1/4 mile from exit 11, and somehow coasted off exit 11 to the Exxon station ... It had to have been God getting me there, that was a long way to coast.

Then I went to my Gynecologist this afternoon. I have been having a lot of pain and bleeding when I'm not supposed to be (sorry if that is too much information), and I have a cyst on my right ovary, so I get to have a hysterectomy and my right ovary and tube removed on Dec. 11th. I am thankful for that though, because with all of my issues, I just know that once it's gone, my pain and troubles will be gone too. I know it will take some time to recover from, but it is well worth it if it means that I can be normal again, and enjoy loving on my husband again.

I still have my friend's daughter. I go back to court on the 14th of Nov. I don't see it changing unless the girls daddy gets her. I am OK with keeping her though. I thought it would stress me out but it doesn't. My friend is stressing me out a little bit, but I can fix that.

Just please continue to pray for me/us right now. We have a lot on our plate right now. I have a test Friday that is over a lot of content. I need to study tomorrow, but the girl I am keeping is running a fever, and I may need to take her to the doctor. It's a virus because all of us have had it, so there probably isn't much they can do about it, but I probably still need to take her. I am praying she will feel better by the morning.

God is good, he does provide all of our needs, and he sustains us and carries us when we feel like we can't go on. I thank Him for that, and I praise Him for whatever it is He is doing in our lives. have a great, glorious, and blessed evening!